Home

A chair is still a chair, even when there is no one sitting there… but a chair is not a house and a house is not a home when there’s no one there… a room is still a room even when there’s nothing there, but a room is not a house and a house is not a home…  

so says the lines from the song Home. The lines suddenly struck me one morning while lazily abusing  the laptop and listening to it made me realize a lot of things. Well, for one, I am literally home alone because my kids are on “the other side of the fence”. Missed the sound they make each day… missed their smiles, missed the laughter’s, the stories, everything about them actually… Maybe missing them was understatement to say the least. They have been my companions in this sorry life that I have… they are the reasons why I am still alive to this day and how I thank God for this gift of my children. They have helped me keep my sanity and kept my hopes up that things will somehow turn out for the better, not just for me, but for all of us. Being alone the last couple of weekends made me realize that there is truth to the adage that “no man is an island”. All of us need people in our lives, one way or the other. In my case, my kids are “the” people in my life. One of the things I so look forward to at the end of each day are the hugs and kisses of my youngest child, that of my only daughter. Takes the tiredness and the weariness away. I don’t know about you, but I always look forward to it… that great big hug she gives me and that wide smile that goes with it. Wouldn’t exchange that for anything in this world. I mean, nothing like a great big hug to cap off a tiring and weary day. Just absolutely perfect for me. Not to be outdone are my two boys. The eldest one is so responsible now and has been most helpful in keeping the house in a state of orderly disarray, hahahaha! Also is the fiscalizer in the house. the second one is ever thoughtful. He gets to and always is the first one to ask about how my day went and how am i… is also my caretaker every time am down with something and is my very able assistant in my “office” (the kitchen).  Of the 3, I think the 2nd one got the better number of my cooking genes. Another thing that I sorely missed is our weekly DVD movie marathon with matching chips and that all time favorite, fish crackers dipped in a fiery vinaigrette which the 2nd one most often concocts.  

Am just so thankful that I get to experience all these because in a couple of years more, I don’t know if they would still be the same with their big hugs and kisses for this old man. You know kids, someday, they would all stop to doing some things because they feel that they have outgrown them or the awkwardness would start to sink in. someday soon it will happen but in the meantime, let me just cherish those moments I  have with my kids because they won’t stay as kids forever.

Being home alone likewise, gave me the peace, quiet and the time to take stock of some things in my life. In these moments of solitude, I came to see my God more clearly. Get to hear Him and His messages for me. One of which is the assurance of His goodness, His mercy and compassion… “ The Lord is good to all; He has compassion on all He has made (psalms 145:9)”… He opened up my eyes further to the beauty of this world… “O Lord, what a variety of things You have made! In wisdom you have made them all” (Psalms 104:24). And the innate goodness of man. Yes, man is still good despite of his humanity… we may not know it sometimes but we all are still human in our ways and in our lives. I guess, that is the reality of it all. But being human makes for our desire to earnestly follow God. By being human, we are reminded that nobody is ever perfect in this world. Nobody was and nobody ever will be. Only God is perfect.

So, with the temporary absence of my kids, I am learning to somehow find “home” in this solitary state. I have always dreaded the fact that someday soon, I will be reduced to a lonely state of life because my kids will have to go… to find out and make their own niche in this world. And in this state of prelude of things to come, I am very pleased to say that I have found my “home”. As they say… Home is where the heart is. And my heart is with my God and God is my home. Wishing y’all a blessed and peaceful Sunday. God bless!       

Living in community

I have been a member of a catholic community since 1996. In those days, it wasn’t even clear as to why I joined. All I remember was that a good friend kept pestering me for about two years and the next time he asked, I decided to join, albeit reluctantly. Was it any good being in community? Was it any better than the life outside of it?  The answer would come to me in the form of a yes and a no. and after all these years living in community, these are what I found out… yes!  It is better , because community life taught me a lot of things. For one, community living gave me great friends which I consider as “family”. True and real friends whose friendship I so treasure. Friends that are like “real” blood brothers and sisters to me. I also found out in community that “real life” angels exists. And I have seen their lot at work in the lives of brethren… doing the big and small things that really matter. They literally are there for you, working without asking for anything or something in return.

Community living also gave me the chance to see and work with people whose lives are dedicated solely to the service of the Lord and His church. I likewise saw how a united community level off a portion of a mountain, literally, painstakingly and perseveringly, week in and week out so that brethren and people can live a more dignified life. These are but a few of the things I I have seen and learned living in community, there are a lot more actually and probably the greatest thing that I have learned in community is that it taught me how to pray. Praying to me before was like something mechanical, just something to do because one is supposed to do it and because everybody else does. Over the years, my prayer life evolved from being mechanical to something more heartfelt, more personal. More like talking to my God on a personal, heart to heart level. And more than the praying, community life also taught me to listen to my God. To do what He wants me to do. Some people hear God thru the bible passages they come across to while in moments of solitude or reflection. I hear God through the events or images I see around me everyday. Images that may seem ordinary to many and just daily occurrences of daily living. But God sends me messages through these images… It is through this that I get to hear Him clearly. His leading being manifested in real time, images that are happening right before my eyes, right as they unfold.

On the other hand, community living also accorded me to cross paths with people who have a different agenda being in community. They joined up to expand their network in business under the guise of being in community. They use and manipulate people for their very own purpose. I have likewise seen people who are so beholden to their position that serving or working in community seems like a monarchy, including the politics and all…  I have seen leaders or servants as what we call them now, so holy and righteous when giving talks yet act totally different when out of the prying eyes of brethren. I have seen the mudslinging, bickering, rock throwing and what have you happen right before my very eyes. And on a couple of instances, I too, became involved. When all these happen, I hurt… I hurt because it seems that what we have all known and learned in community was for nothing.  It seems that the love of the Lord is not enough… and I have seen how brethren allow themselves to be used by the machinations of the evil one.  So cunning and so manipulative and as clear as day and yet brethren allows it to happen. During these times, I am quick to question why all these are happening and why is it so overpowering that brethren seem helpless to point out and see the difference. Well, for one, he isn’t the evil one for nothing. And even his machinations do evolve to suit the various situations we are in. perhaps, the only surefire way to counteract his evil deeds are prayers, lots of it, 24/7… one must also learn to accept that the evil one is working round the clock in our lives too. Waiting for that opportune moment to strike hence we must not lower our guard.  Most often, we all fall prey to his evil deeds partly because of our humanity. But acceptance to the fact that we are helpless brings forth our dependence to God for His divine protection. While prayers do provide protection, our God alone is the mighty and awesome defense that we can all have against the snares of the evil one, our shield in times of harassment and oppression.

Living in community is hard in the sense that a whole bunch of people with different backgrounds, attitudes and upbringing are gathered together and made to live as one. One must have a flexible and humble background to adjust easily to the “new” lifestyle one is thrust into. Perhaps, the greatest trait one must have is a loving and caring nature, simply because love overpowers all changes, in one’s life and in community living as well.

To sum it all up, living in community has bought me many wonderful experiences and learnings. The positives simply outweigh the negatives. Make no mistake, I love my community and I love being in community, all these are but my experiences and it may be totally different with others.

In Romans 12:3-13 it says, “³ For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. ⁴ For as in one body we have many members,^[a] and the members do not all have the same function, ⁵ so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. ⁶  Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; ⁷ if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; ⁸ the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads,^[b] with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.⁹  Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. ¹⁰  Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. ¹¹ Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit,^[c] serve the Lord. ¹²  Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. ¹³  Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

the evolution of a ministry

was cleaning the laptop with old files and chanced upon this piece which should have been posted last april, hahahaha! totally forgot about this one. am posting this anyway as it tells of my experiences at the 5th World Servant's Congress 

The 5^th World Servant’s Congress was held last Mar 23-25, 2012 at the Bukal ng Tipan Hall, Maryhill Retreat House, Antipolo, Rizal. The congress was well attended by brethren from all over Metro Manila and the provinces as far south as Cag. de Oro and was truly international with the presence of delegates from Singapore and Spain. This year’s theme, Buhay na Buhay sa Servant’s amplified the “new” evangelization going on in the ministry. So vibrant is the sight of young people… young men and women alike living it up to the very impressive praise music by the ministry’s own SOLD OUT Band led by Bro. Bambi Urgino on lead vocals/guitar, Bro. Boy Katigbak on bass and likewise, the International Coordinator for the ministry, Bro. Pompoy Dinglasan on percussions, who is as sprightly as always and a sight to behold playing the percussions, bro Blue on lead guitar, bro. jun on drums, sis Sandra on back up vocals and another bro on keyboards whose name escapes me now. Listening to them and seeing the young brethren whooping it up made me feel like I was in the wrong congress, think it was more like the World Singles Congress at Silang, Cavite. But It was indeed the World Servants Congress. This was supposed to be the congress of single “mature” men, widowers, separateds and those who are, to borrow the words of Bro. Boy Katigbak, on  “pre departure area”, men who are in the twilight of their lives, men on maintenance meds and men who limp when they walk on account of arthritis or gout. But not anymore… we are not anymore the ministry of those waiting for the final call slip from the Lord and truly, the addition of these young brethren, young men and women from the Corporate Evangelization has painted a new color to the life of the ministry. Our youngest member who is 17 years old, yes! You heard it right… seventeen! He wants to be in the company of men of wisdom and who, incidentally, wants to be a priest. O ‘wag na kayo papalag… hahahahaha!

The ministry truly has evolved… To some, what was once a dry, lifeless ministry is now vibrant, energetic, and lively as ever.  And surely, the theme for this year’s congress aptly describes the “new” Servants for Family and Life, Buhay na Buhay sa Servant’s! the leading of the Lord is very clear to many of those present, myself included, and with the “new ministries” born out of the SvFL, the Migrant Workers Ministry, the Parish Evangelization Program and the ministry’s own Corporate Evangelization promises a new light in the horizon for all of us. There is much work to be done… and the congress magnified the blessings and guidance of the Lord. And a great majority of those present seemed up to task for the work entrusted to us by the Lord. The ministry has been truly blessed with a very able servant, in the person of Bro. Boy Katigbak and an indefatigable backup of a core of elders in the persons of, Bros. Butch Sinconugue, Ces Lorenzo, Ando Ferrer, Pompoy Dinglasan, Pidiong Damaso, Reggie Nery and sub ministry servants. Bro. Jun de Vera for the Parish Evangelization Program, Bro. Rocky for the Migrant Workers Ministry and Bro. Ces Lorenzo for the Corporate Ministry.

The weekend Jesus experience with fellow servant’s will long be treasured and remembered not for the many who were in attendance but for the love of the Lord which were manifested all throughout the 3 day retreat. This piece seeks to thank, Fr. Arlo Yap, for the meaningful exposition of the blessed sacrament, all the fulltime workers who were in attendance, Angel Bangaysiso, Anna Arcaya, Khyme Esteban, Bobby Tagulinao, and 3 more whose names I forgot… aaarrggghhh! Senior moments again… hahahaha! But seriously, the entire service team is to be lauded for a job well done. Accommodations were great, food is ok, the sessions are well spaced and activities are organized. It was a congress really worth remembering!

For next year, 2013, the congress will be hosted by the district of cavite and with the way the 5^th congress came and went, the 6^th is really something to look forward to. See y’all in cavite.    

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thanks much y'all for the birthday greetings. thanks too for those who remembered my birthday but didn't care to greet, hahahahahaha! well, what can i say... am overwhelmed to say the least by all the greetings, and just so thankful to the Lord that i was able to reach 46. looking back in the days, i didn't even think then that i was gonna reach this age. sa dami ba naman ng utang ko sa tulog, pagkain, bisyo, atbp... for those who really know me, maybe y'all are wondering how come this old man is still standing. well, let me share with you a little secret... it all started way back in 96 when i entered the renewal and committed myself into a covenant with our Lord. since then, every year of my life has been a blessing... a blessing of His reassuring Love year in and year out. and all the more reinforced this year with His very calming presence in my life and the life of my children. i say "calming" because with the numerous storms that crossed paths with me, He was always there with His assurance that eventually things will come to pass. somethings blow hot, some, blow cold. but whatever it is, the Lord always has His way in my life. knowing Him and coming to a deeper, personal relationship with Him kept me healthy. imagine sporting a 44 inch waistline just a few years back. and now, proudly wears a 37-38 size with no help from meds or anything. wala na kasi makain kaya pumayat! hahahahahahaha! but really, God's reassuring love made it all happen for me. and now that i have reach this age and getting nearer to 50, i dare say... BRING IT ON!

again, thanks y'all for the greetings. God bless and praying that God's reassuring love be felt by you all!

equality

The primary reason people do not get along is because they do not feel equal to another. Superiority is a myth and disease perpetuated by dishonesty and lack of awareness. When we are negative about someone's behavior, more often than not, we have thought, done, or said the same we are accusing someone of doing, if only in degree. We just give grace to those we love or want to love. Creating awareness of this dishonesty, concerning our own shortcomings, will aid us from the contagious nature of this disease that ruins and scars others... and us. The more you see someone on level ground, the more you will find compassion and camaraderie on equal footing. FINISH WELL

Seeing God...

i recount in the olden days when life was in abundance, when everything was fine and when everything was smooth sailing. was God there? sure He was! but His presence was largely iconic. just someone to thank for things that are aplenty. to some, He was not even there. His presence was never felt because one has got a good grip on things, one has belief in his own capacity to make things work out. one's mind is so convoluted with the "i can" attitude hence the need for God's presence.

on the other hand, when life brings you down on your knees and drastically changes everything, was God there? was He even there when close to a thousand homes got washed away by flash floods in the dead of night? thousand of lives lost in an instant. was He there on a night where you went to sleep on an empty stomach? was He there for those experiencing poverty and hardship? was He there for those who are in great pain and suffering? His presence really gets cloudy amidst all these... but was He even there???

to fully understand the answer, it is necessary to believe in God and a better life after all these. it is also important to understand that God allows all things to happen and He has good reasons for everything. and surely, He was there! His presence is like "our refuge and strength, a very present help in times of need" (psalm 46:1). God uses situations to work differently in our lives. He makes things happen so that one can learn from the lessons and do better in the future. sometimes, He causes things to happen to make us shift our attention from the trivial pursuits to the true and real values of life. He is, after all, "a strong tower" (pro. 18:10), where one can run to and be safe. all these are but opportunities for us to turn to Him, after all, our God is a righteous God, He is just, He is fair, He is perfect and He knows best.

how about you, have you seen God lately?

sendong... ondoy in disguise

it all started with a little rain about mid morning of friday and continued to mid afternoon, then the heavy rains came early evening and lasted the whole night up until dawn the following day.

i woke up to the sound of strong winds at around 1am of saturday... had to close 2 windows left open during the night and suddenly remembered our laundry still hanging in the terrace. went out and got the laundry and had a taste of sendong's fury right there. debris were everywhere, wind was howling and thrash was strewn about, dont know how it got there but our terrace sure was littered. i checked on my kids who was soundly sleeping at that time, woke them up to say a little prayer and sent them all back to sleep in my bed. it was pitch black as electricity was cut off the night before... i went downstairs to check if theres any flooding and thank God, there was none. went to sleep thereafter and woke up at around 4 in the morning and after cooking and a cup of coffee, decided to go around in my bike to check on the extent of damage. heard on the radio a local station's call for help and volunteers as there was countless evacuees all huddled up on a gym near our place. i went there and briefly helped out... i could see in all the faces of the victims the fear and the trauma of their experience... most were crying, some were staring into nothing... probably pondering on what to do next... to most of them, if not all; this experience will be life changing. i went home to get some used clothes as a lot were still in wet clothes from the night before, brought back about half a sack and handed them out to a man who took charge in its distribution. people were pouring onto the gym and a lot more are coming said a local rescue crew who took a brief respite for food. at a nearby holding area, the dead are everywhere... rescuers placed them on the sidewalk pending identification of the bodies. alot more are still missing and many of the dead were the ones who refused to leave their homes, trusting in its structure which was no match to the power of the rampaging floodwaters.

at mid morning, i then called on some brothers and sisters as food and drinking water was badly needed and the community responded generously and got off a help brigade that cooked a modest meal for about a 100 persons. we then took off for one of the hardest hit areas and rescued a sister and her family who spent the night on their roof with the youngest daughter having a fever. later in the day, we went back and gave food to their neighbors and to some in the surrounding area.

sendong came in slow and unleashed his fury slowly in the dead of night... and looking at all the destruction and the massive loss of lives, i cant help but wonder, was it really sendong who did all these or was it ondoy in disguise...