Friday, October 24, 2008

Five Ways to Get Your Spark BACK

We all feel low sometimes, right? Grouchy, fed-up and bored are all the words you could use to describe what it's like when you're feeling in a rut or like you've lost that spark that you use to have. Times like those are all part of the deal with being human (sorry to break it to you), but you'll run the risk of losing an important piece of yourself forever if those grouchy days and off-times merge together and last weeks, months or maybe even years.

Here are five ways to get you out of the rut and probably get your spark back.


If you've established systems and routines for getting things done, it certainly makes life easier. Of course, the flipside is that if you have everything tightly coordinated and run according to that routine, and everything you do every single day becomes the norm. You end up running on auto-pilot or cruise control, and it becomes your whole world.

So start to shake things up a bit. Make one or two simple changes to your day - whether it's your breakfast routine, your radio station, workout sked, route to work, lunch routine, etc, etc. It doesn't matter what the changes are or whether they're right or wrong, just make a couple of simple choices that will add some variety to your day.

Doing things differently and changing parts of your routine instantly takes you out of the norm and allows you to shake off the thing that make you feel confined. Stepping out of your routine puts you in a position when you're able to make different choices, see things differently and get a different result. It's the starting point for having a different kind of experience.

If it feels like your sparks gone then i'm willing to bet that you've forgotten who you really are. way down deep. Your values are the building blocks, foundations and cornerstones for who you are, they're the things that are ten thousand feet down inside you that make you. A value is something in yourself, in others or out there in the world thats most important to you, and you could include things like trust, capability, love, family, nature, innovation, fun and a million other things.

Those times in your life when you've felt alive, buzzing or at the top of your game are times when one or more of your values are being honored, and it feels great because you're simply expressing and living in line with who you really are.

The times when you feel upset, angry or frustrated are times when one or more of your values are being denied, suppressed or repressed, it feels horrible because you're not living in line with who you really are.

Getting your spark back means connecting with your values that mean more to you and by using them every single day.


Picture this... you are walking home from the market with a couple of bags of groceries, but the bags have holes in them . So, there you are, happily walking along, leaving a trail of your things behind you. When you get home you unpack what's left and ask, "didn't i have more than this?"

Nourishment is about plugging those holes in your life and making sure you have things that keep you feeling nourished... nourished in your head, nourished in your heart and nourished in your stomach. Remember, you can't give away what you don't have and can't spend energy you've already spent.

It doesn't have top be the big things in life that nourish you and its often the simplest little thing that strikes a chord, makes you feel like yourself again or makes you smile from ear to ear; calling a friend, taking a walk in the park or simply listening to your favorite song. Think about what keeps you balanced, the things that relax you or make you feel peaceful. Think about the things that make you feel like you again.

Yes, life is busy, but you need to prioritize your own nourishment or you will be running on empty. The fact is that you are important enough to spend time taking care of and because you are the only one of you there is, its you're responsibility to make sure you are okay.


This idea came to me a few years ago when a good friend suddenly asked me, "What would be your perfect day?" I'd never been asked that question before and I found myself spontaneously making up a story; telling my friend about my "perfect day" from the moment my eyes flickered open at the start of the day to the moment i hit the sack at the end of the day.

I went through each part of the day telling my friend what I was doing, who was I with, where we were, how it felt and what happened next. Bit by bit and without even thinking about it, i'd put together a rich, colorful exciting and comforting day which still holds true as my perfect day.

Just thinking about different parts of it makes me smile, makes me remember what's important to me and makes me feel human, my "perfect day" has now become like a good friend of mine, a friend that i can call on whatever I want to. So whats your "perfect day" like? Just shoot straight and see what comes out naturally for you. Write down words, ideas, themes or whole narratives, even draw pictures if you want to. have fun with it, play with it... its your "perfect day".


FUN, FULFILLMENT and FREEDOM. The three "F's"... embody a whole lot of what people are looking for in life. Here are some quick definitions:

FUN, n. - a source of enjoyment or pleasure; playful activity.

FULFILLMENT, n. - To bring into actuality; to complete a feeling of satisfaction at having achieved your desires.

FREEDOM, n. - The capacity to exercise choice, free will, frankness or boldness; the absence of constraint in choice or action.

These 3 things have a massive influence on your experience of life, so think about it, where you are you on a scale of 1-10 against each of the 3 "F's"? How much fun are you having right now? How fulfilled are you? How free do you feel?

What would happen if you climbed a point or two on the Fun scale? What if you could add a point to your level of fulfillment or freedom? Chances are it would feel pretty darn good, so what is the one thing that you can do right now to help you climb up the 3 "F's" scale?

By themselves, each of the 3 "F's" are a powerful thing and can really help to enjoy where you are and feel alive. But when the 3 "F's" come together... well, just hold on to your hat because that's one hell of a ride.


Pinay WAHM said...

Hi Bong....

Nice tips! Very useful kasi we all go through that phase every once a while.

Musta ang weekend? Ours was spent at home for the most part...but it's fun kasi it's only on the weekends that the father and daughter get to play a lot.

Hope you're having a good week so far.

Pinay WAHM said...

Thanks for hopping by. It's good to know na your kids can still bring a smile on your face...that's the important thing, di ba? They are the biggest reason why we do what we do. Taking it one day at a time is probably the best you can do right now. I'm sure you'll be back to your old self before you know it.

Ingat lagi and just keep smiling.


Pinay WAHM said...

Hi Bong! Happy Halloween? Musta ang All Saints day dyan?

Hope you're having a great weekend!


Small Footprints said...

Hello! I was visiting a "Blog of Note" and saw your comment ... which lead me to your site. This was a wonderful post ... I like how your view things.

I'm going to follow your blog ... I need to take some time and read the rest of your posts.

Thank you for sharing with us!

Small Footprints

Pinay WAHM said...

Hi Bong....

Thanks much sa bday greeting. Tumanda na naman ako ng isang taon...

How did you spend your All Saints Day? And how are you feeling na pala? I hope you're out of that 'not so happy' place...

Keep smiling....


Pinay WAHM said...


Naku I'm here to disappoint you na ako ang exception to the belief that "Kapampangans" are gret cooks. I am what you will call an 'embarrassment' to the group....LOL...

Actually pinipigilan nga akong mag bake kasi he's trying to limit my [and his] sweets. I have diabetes in my genes so hinay hinay dapat...still, the mixer makes a good display....LOL.

Tama ka..what you're feeling right now is only temporary.

May bagong presidente ang US. Hopefully, he'll be able to dig us out of this economic slump.


Sam said...

Hi Bong,

Thanks for the a wonderful reminder. Bkit ba ngayon lng ako nag-visit dito. I really like self-loving thoughts. I'm into the process of loving myself. So that I can give more to others...

Have a blessed day to you and your family!!!

By the way, how was your eldest? I hope your both doin' great...